Celebrating Zen...

Today, in 2010, I carried Zen's buoyant life inside of me and within hours of waking, her life needed to be terminated to save mine. The moments leading up to this experience was the impetus for this blog in 2010 and now, some three years later, I write to relieve internal anguish, share moments of faith and hope, and chronicle my thoughts about motherhood. Today's message is brief...I simply want to celebrate my little Zen and remember the joy she gave me; her expected life was sooooo grand!!! She made me laugh with her ultrasound antics; she was acrobatic. In one of her last photo shoots...LOL...she spread her legs as if she was doing a handstand, creating a V with her upturned legs to show us all her gender! There was something very jovial yet peaceful about her spirit...hence her name. During the most tedious, painful, nerve-racking situations her images always comforted me and surely made me and her Dad laugh. I wonder what she would have looked like at age three; would she have still been jovial; inquisitive; pensive; thoughtful...whomever she would have become, she was already my little girl and still is. Happy birthday sweet baby. Mommy loves you...more than my words and tears can describe. xoxoxo