Not living for approval

This may seem unrelated to 'Chasing Motherhood', but as I type, I realize it's not such a disjointed matter. The more we try to please, appease and seek someone's approval, the further away we are from realizing our true destiny. Throughout moments in my 41-year-old life, I've allowed (we must take onus for our mistakes, even at the hands of others) other people close and dear to me to impose their views, perceptions and ideals on me. In an attempt to always please others and be sublimely loyal, I've discounted my own feelings and beliefs. I often wonder where I would be in life had I listened to my heart and followed my footsteps when they pointed in the direction of my heart.

Today, I vow to remain true to me...even the most well-intentioned friend, lover, family member doesn't truly deserve to keep me in their 'box of ideals' when it goes against what I know to be true. We can agree to disagree without spoiling each other and destroying what we've built. And if that relationship has to suffer because we differ (on any matter that doesn't cost us our lives or harm us in any way) then perhaps it's worth investigating how well-intentioned said person is. Agree?

It saddens me to distance myself from those whose approval I have not garnered; but it's more saddening to realize that my friendship is not as important and cherished for anyone who is willing to discard it because we disagree.

Today is a new day and God's approval will open doors and a new season of growth and opportunity when I seek His approval, and follow my heart.

Be blessed...today and always.

The Test before Testimony

After bouts of wondering why motherhood has escaped me thus far, today I realize God's purpose, God's choice for my life has not yet been seen. He is putting me through certain 'tests' so that perhaps my 'testimony' will encourage, inspire, teach, mentor and motivate others. Again, I don't yet know my 'testimony', but I am closer to accepting that these trials are like my DNA and essentially make me who I am preparing to be. At age 41, I thought I would have 'arrived' at my metaphorical destination, but we all travel at varying speeds and through different paths.

I'm reading "Beyond Grief: A Guide for Recovering From the Death of A Loved One" by Carol Staudacher. I encourage you to read it as well and allow it to help you understand that what you're feeling is real, understandable, and allowed.

Let your tests become your testimony...the other side can only be better!