After bouts of wondering why motherhood has escaped me thus far, today I realize God's purpose, God's choice for my life has not yet been seen. He is putting me through certain 'tests' so that perhaps my 'testimony' will encourage, inspire, teach, mentor and motivate others. Again, I don't yet know my 'testimony', but I am closer to accepting that these trials are like my DNA and essentially make me who I am preparing to be. At age 41, I thought I would have 'arrived' at my metaphorical destination, but we all travel at varying speeds and through different paths.
I'm reading "Beyond Grief: A Guide for Recovering From the Death of A Loved One" by Carol Staudacher. I encourage you to read it as well and allow it to help you understand that what you're feeling is real, understandable, and allowed.
Let your tests become your testimony...the other side can only be better!
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